dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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