And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
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when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
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you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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