True but thats because hes a fetus.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
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Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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