laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
where are my pants?
in the oven.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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