Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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