You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize