Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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