You're so nebulous sometimes
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize