my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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