i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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