I feel great
I just peed on a car
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize