i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize