I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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