Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize