the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize