North Korea, Best Korea!
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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