tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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