my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
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