Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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