You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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