it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
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I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
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Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You are the jesus of drinking
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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