So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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