We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
You did what with his pubic hair?
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