he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
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I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
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I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
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