I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
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My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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