The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
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In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
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When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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