that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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