Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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