after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
Randomize