i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
A+ Viking dick
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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