i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
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That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
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