No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize