i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
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Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
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The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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