Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize