This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize