I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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