Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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