remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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