I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
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