My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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