it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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