I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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