I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
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he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
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I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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