listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize