Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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