I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize