okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
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i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
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