but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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