I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize