I haven't been this sober since birth.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize